HA I HAVE MASTERED CLICKBAIT! You KNOW you only opened this post because of BEWBS. Tee-hee YOU READ THE WORD BOOBS AND YOU LIKED IT!
Seriously though, I have some thoughts on boobs, in particular because I have a pair of them myself. You WILL find them enlightening, OR ELSE.
- Boobs are great. Boobs really don’t get enough credit other than as, you know, a turn-on for (mostly) straight dudes in Western culture. Sure, many humans find them sexually appealing, and that’s wonderful, but for a good number of us they also were our primary food source for, like, the first 1-3 years of our lives! That’s INSANE. Like, women can literally just feed their kids from their own bodies in many cases! FUCKING WOW! They also give nice shape to dresses, and if you wear the right bra you can sometimes store stuff in them, like IDs and cash and full-sized margaritas. Very useful.
- Boobs are terrible. As a 36H sized person, sometimes boobs SUCK. Really big ones can get in the way of things like crossing your arms, wearing certain clothes, walking down the street without hearing uninvited gross commentary, and not having back and shoulder pain. Small boobs often provoke teasing because people are shitheads, and ones that are in some way prevented from or incapable of feeding children as described in the first bullet point are often shamed (or their owners are). And when they ARE able to feed children, their owners are shamed for doing this in public, because alsdjgnpwoe[awh]e9faw #ragetyping. Boobs are also the fixation of some really weird (and thankfully unsuccessful) politicians who are desperately afraid that someone might see a woman’s nipple in public and, I dunno, die or something? They can also get cancer, which is awful and scary and a big problem 😦
- Boobs are not a big deal. People should get over boobs because they are just a normal part of women’s (and some men’s which is cool) bodies, and bodies are normal and cool. So we should chill, and definitely not read click bait-y blog posts about them.
- Boobs are a huge deal. Due to aforementioned awesomeness and terribleness of them. You should read and share my click bait-y blog post about them.
- Implants and reductions and mastectomies are fine. Do what you want to or need to do with your boobs to make yourself feel better and/or treat serious illness because it’s your body and who gives a shit.
- You should pay no attention to anyone else’s opinion on your boobs in particular or boobs in general…
- …Except my opinion. My thoughts are the best and only useful thoughts on your boobs in particular (I think they’re GREAT) and boobs in general (I think they’re GREAT and TERRIBLE for the above-mentioned reasons).
In closing, I will only add:
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