Nine months ago I was in a really bad place. A place where I, not for the first time, had horribly dark thoughts about my worth as a human being and whether or not I was worth living on this planet.
I sought help from my doctor, therapist, friends, and family, and made some big life changes, and I’m in a much better place now.
However, the last few days, I was sick with the flu and, as so often happens when my body is ill, my mind’s illness, which is always humming along in the background, emerged from the compartment of my mind where it lives when it’s not running the show and tried to take over. I binge-watched Netflix without paying attention to a single line of dialogue; I cried; I called my mom twice a day. I took a nap when I otherwise might have been productive or social. And, as my body has healed and my sleep deficit has been corrected, I can feel the darkness lifting. The little demon is going back into his compartment – for now – and I’m in a better place.
If you’re out there and you are suffering or have ever been suffering from that voice that tells you all sorts of hopeless, terrible things, please know that you’re not alone and that you are loved and wanted and worthwhile because depression lies. And if you need them, please use the resources below – I’ve used them myself, and they truly help.